Volume 127: Rest in Habits
About a month before lent even began, Jenna and I received a message:
"I already have my sacrifice laid out and I'm very excited about it. Are y'all ready?"
Jenna quickly responded, "What is it?????"
"I'm going to treat my phone like a landline. I am going to establish a spot where my phone lives (like a landline) and only use it there!!! So I might be delayed in responding but at least I am setting boundaries for no mindless scrolling."
Now upon first reading this, you may be thinking to yourself, "that's a solid practice!! What a great idea!! I am sure this is some teenager who typically spends 8 hours a day on their phone! How great of them to set boundaries!"
But what if I told you... the person who chose this practice... doesn't have social media... and already takes about a month to respond...
Can you guess who??
That's right - our very own Unplugger, Merry Grace!
In shock that this would be her focus, Jenna and I delayed our responses to which Merry Grace proceeded to text us the next day and ask, "Wait so do yall like it or no?"
After some back and forth, we of course mentioned that we were unsure if she needed to improve that area of her life. And the conversation ended with me asking, "What is your current weakest discipline?"
To which Merry Grace never responded, so we shall never know...
However, it was a question I thought about a lot.
Habits have always been something I have been intrigued in.
I've read just about any book I see how about Habits/Disciplines/Routine:
Your Future Self Will Thank You by Drew Dyck
You Are What You Love by James K.A. Smith
The Common Rule by Justin Whitmel Earley
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Take Command by Joe Hart
Start With Why by Simon Sinek
Think Ahead by Craig Groeschel
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
Overall, I have always been pretty quick to define myself as a disciplined person - morning routine, boundaries with technology, night routine, etc.
However, there's always been a big area of my life that I have never been well disciplined in... and often just completely ignored, even though just about every single one of the books above would mention it specifically... my health.
(Well and making my bed... still working on that one...)
Over Christmas break, my Dad, Rory and I were sitting in the living room, as Dad passed around his portable blood pressure device. Thus began a conversation between Rory and I that we wanted to get more in shape. We decided right then and there that we would set a goal to be able to run a 10k next Christmas.
I thought back to Rory and I's previous goal a few years ago, when we wanted to become readers and we set out to read 24 books in the year. Well that first year, I surpassed by about 100 books... I have since calmed down fear not...
So I knew this goal was good for me. It was time to start exercising and paying attention to my diet.
But.... it was December 2024... and our finish date was December 2025... a full year in between...
For the first couple of weeks, I was falling into the trap of thinking "I don't have to start yet. I have plenty of time"
Yet, over and over in my head, the common thread from all books written about habits screamed out at me, "Start NOW." I remember reading something along the lines of "The reason that so many New Years Resolutions fail is because you waited until New Years. That's not a good enough why."
One of the main premise of Atomic Habits, probably the most popular books about habits right now, is that you have to start with the who rather than the do. Rather than setting a goal to accomplish something, you need to think about your identity. Rather than "I want to run a marathon." Think, "I want to be someone who runs."
With a mixture of all of the information I know of routines and habits, I had 3 things in place:
1. I want to be able to run a 10k with Rory in December
2. I had two weddings back to back in March and wanted to feel good in my dresses.
3. I was believing a lie that I was too far gone, too out of shape and it would be embarrassing to try and exercise now.
So I started. I showed up.
At first, I would just show up to Memorial Park (along with everyone else in Houston considering it's the only parkkkk). And I would jog for one minute and then walk for one minute, on and off for 20 minutes. And let me tell you, I was miserable... I hated it...
But I started. I showed up.
Soon after, I had the goal to be able to run 1 mile without stopping. 4 laps around the hidden track at Memorial Park. With the help of Nikki as my coach, I accomplished it. And Jenna's 5 AM 1 mile run! It wasn't a pretty mile... there was some huffing and puffing but no walking!
Because I started. I showed up.
Then, Esther and Margaret invited me to come to Orange Theory with them one day... I had always been intrigued by workout classes because I always miss high school sports and that competitive environment. But, as I mentioned earlier, I was really insecure... there's no way I would survive the class and not make a fool of myself. After a lot of convincing and reassurance that I would be okay, I gave in and attended... and well, ended up signing up for the membership immediately after the class.
That was the turning point. Realizing that I wasn't too out of shape. I wasn't going to embarrass myself. I didn't have to be insecure. As soon as I overcame these lies, I began to see a shift in my mentality.
I became consistent, going to class every morning at 5 AM, working hard each and every day.
And I began to see results. Which begun a positive cycle, a new stream of habits.
All because I started. I showed up.
Small steps. Shifting mindset. Reframing.
Growing stronger.
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